Jasmine. 20.

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dollartheatre:

friend: ends a text with a period
me: i don’t know what i did but what can i do to make up for it, please,

(via pagingme)

vinylmationnecklaces:

One of the best scenes from Pocahontas.

mysugglife:

plasticroyal:

vinesnow:

black eyed peas ft. shia labeouf - more vines

STOP IT

My new ringtone

(via ppppbbt)

assheol:

needsyous:

assheol:

the most beautiful piece of meat is bacon dont try to tell me otherwise

i thought it was my daddy’s cock ヽ(^◇^*)/

image

(via pulchie)

extrasad:

Someone: *doesn’t text me back for two hours*
Me: *waits like 4 minutes to respond bc I’m ignoring them back*

(via pulchie)

Today, I fucked up… by calling a locksmith when I was “locked out” of my car

today-ifuckedup:

I’ll preface this by saying I’m usually not a stupid man but I was at the end of my third 16 hour shift in a row and I was very tired. I’ll make this quick:

I got off work, went out to my car, hit the button for the doors on my remote unlocker - as usual. Nothing happened. I tried it a few more times, battery must be dead. I stand there for 10 minutes, mashing the little button, hoping for enough juice to open the doors. Nada.

I call a locksmith, explain that I’m locked out of my car. He says he’ll be right over. 20 minutes later he arrives. He walks up with his tools, inserts a thing that looks like a blood pressure cuff in the door jamb. He starts making conversation as it inflates, pushing the door open:

“So locked your keys in the car? No problem sir, I’ll have it open in a minute.”

“No, my keys are right here, my key fob is dead.” I replied.

He stops and for about 10 seconds. Doesn’t say a word. He sees my keys in my hands. Takes them from me, inserts them in the lock and opens the door.

I was mortified. I was so in a habit of opening the doors with my remote fob that I entirely forgot that keys could be used to unlock cars manually. He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. After he stopped laughing, he told me there was no charge. The story he’d have to tell was worth the drive out.

(via nopethefuckout)

" I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone. "

— (via bl-ossomed)

(via eilatannnatalie-deactivated2017)